Your body changes in a variety of ways, some of which are cool, some of which are unsettling, and a good portion of them are uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable.  Which brings me to explaining the first portion of the title of this post.  I’ve taken to parodying a certain song from Disney’s Snow White and singing it while walking (waddling?) through the house, in that not at all grating on anyone’s nerves impression of Snow White that I do so well.

“Some day I’ll poop again.  Soooooooooooooome daaaaaaaaaaaaay I’ll pooooooooooooooooooooop again!”

You know you needed to know that.

But all maternity pants suck.  VIVA LA YOGA PANTS!

Ahem.

So yesterday, for the first time, I ventured into A Pea In The Pod.  I promised myself that I would get through this pregnancy without subjecting myself to that, but well, I have a function to go to this weekend and I waited too long to order the Spax for pregnant people (you might be pregnant, but your ass doesn’t have to look like it is!) online.  So I had to pay $6 more plus tax to get them in person.  But it wasn’t so much my wallet that took a hit as it was my brain.  Up until now I’ve been spoiled with Old Navy maternity wear.  A skirt for $16.50, tee shirts two for $20, and let’s really break the bank by picking up a pretty cardigan for $25.  It’s not like you want to make a huge investment in maternity clothing; unless you’re Michelle Duggar, you’re not really going to be spending a significant portion of your life in maternity wear.  Among the items that assaulted my frugality at APITP were: a $50 (on sale) tissue weight striped tee shirt, a $90 (on sale) v-neck drape front blouse (jersey), $13 for two Popper Stoppers (glorified band-aids so your newly outie belly button won’t show), and the dress I’m about to show you.

Isn’t that a lovely dress?  You can own it for the low low price of $275.  And no, it’s not woven from the eyelashes of ancient vestial virgins, it’s modal jersey.  But it looks awfully familiar, why haven’t I seen something similar elsewhere in town?  Maybe in a non-pregnant store?  YES!  YES I HAVE!

Isn’t that a lovely dress?  It’s actually by a named designer that I recognize.  And it’s over $200 cheaper.  And amazingly enough, because it has an empire waist, it’s preggo compatible.

Guess which one you’ll be able to see me in this Friday night.

So I took this picture one week ago.  Not a whole heck of a lot has changed, so I’ll go ahead and comment on it rather than expend the effort of taking another picture.

1. I can still see my feet (and yes, I checked just now to make sure that was still the case).

2. I like purple nail polish.

3. The belly has eclipsed the boobs.

4. I still like to wear flip flops one half size too big.

5. My Mom did an A+ job at picking out the wood for their floor.

1. I either remember or reset the password so I could actually get into it.

2. I could come up with something interesting to say.

So right about now I’m batting .500.

Anyway, I have a small victory to share.  I have not puked at all in the third trimester.  I came close, but I managed to hold it together.  This is a very small victory as the third trimester hasn’t even been around for 24 hours yet.